What to Bring to Your First Divorce Attorney Meeting

The financial picture: what to list before you go

An attorney's first job is usually to understand the shape of the marital finances — what exists, roughly what it's worth, and whose name is on it. You don't need exact figures or appraisals for a first meeting; a complete rough list beats a partial precise one every time, because it's the gaps that cost the most time later.

• Bank and cash accounts — checking, savings, joint and separate, at every institution you can think of.
• Retirement and investment accounts — 401(k), IRA, pension, brokerage. These are easy to overlook and often the largest items on the list.
• Real estate and vehicles — the home, any other property, cars and their loans, and whose name is on each title.
• Every debt — mortgages, credit cards, car loans, student loans, medical debt. A complete debt list matters as much as the asset list.
• Anything you believe is separate — something owned before the marriage, or received as a gift or inheritance. Note it and why you think so; how it's actually treated is a question for your attorney, and the answer varies by state.

Documents worth locating in advance

You don't need to gather originals of everything before a first meeting, but knowing where things are — and saying so — saves a second appointment just to ask the same questions. If you have children, bring a rough sense of what the children's recurring expenses actually run — school fees, activities, medical copays.

• Your driver's license or ID, and your marriage certificate.
• Any prenuptial or postnuptial agreement, if one exists.
• A recent statement for each bank, credit card, and investment account — one statement per account tells a professional more than an hour of describing it.
• The most recent tax return, if you can find it.
• Any paperwork already served or received — a summons, a petition, anything with a court stamp on it.

What to actually ask an attorney at the first meeting

A first consultation is also where you learn whether an attorney fits your situation, and whether you're looking at litigation, mediation, or something in between. A short written list of questions tends to get better, more specific answers than a conversation that wanders — and it costs less, because you're not paying to remember what you meant to ask.

• How do you typically structure fees, and what does a case like mine tend to cost?
• What's the realistic timeline for a case with my situation?
• Do you handle mediation as well as litigation, or would you refer me elsewhere for that?
• What do you need from me before the next step, and by when?
• Are there any actions I should avoid taking right now — moving money, changing beneficiaries, anything with a deadline attached?

What not to worry about yet

It's common to walk into a first meeting trying to have already solved the whole case — what the outcome should be, what's fair, what the other side will argue. None of that is what the first meeting is for. The first meeting is for getting your own facts on the table clearly enough that a professional can tell you what actually applies to your situation, in your state, given what you've described. The same is true of the administrative tail on the after-divorce checklist — accounts, titles, beneficiaries — which belongs to a later stage entirely.

One thing worth knowing before you meet: in many states, filing for divorce automatically puts restrictions on both spouses — for example, on changing beneficiaries, moving large sums, or disposing of property — the moment a case is filed, without either side asking for it. If you haven't filed yet, this is exactly the kind of question to bring to the meeting rather than to guess at beforehand.

Common questions